'Cause You're There For Me Too

The One With the Top 25 Episodes of Friends

Preparing this list took a lot out of me. 25 shows is a lot. I'm going to keep the intro brief and assume you have some basic knowledge of the show.

I started watching this show in 7th grade after a friend described something funny in one of the episodes. I then watched them all out of order, yet still managed to understand the story.

If you plan on watching these, do it in chronological order.

25) The One With Two Parties - Season 2

"Happy Birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo!" - Joey on Monica's birthday flan

"No, she'll yell at me again." - Gunther, on leaving Monica's party

"Alrighty-roo!...What a great moment to say that for the first time." - Ross, handling Rachel's father

"I was just moistening the tip." - Ross, on why he has Rachel's father's cigarette in his mouth

"I was getting ready for the...water-ski." - Ross, on why he's hanging on to the doorknob

Ah, sitcoms. A nice episode filled with misunderstandings and slapstick. Rachel's parents have just gotten divorced, and both are attending her birthday party. To make sure the two parents don't see each other and get in a fight, two parties are quickly thrown together, one in Monica's apartment, and one in Chandler and Joey's. A lot of the humor of this episode arises from the physical comedy as the 6 make sure the parents never see each other. Chandler leaping around everywhere is great to watch, but Ross really shines with his absurd behavior and even stranger explanations.

At the end, Rachel has a breakdown, and talks with Chandler, who also had divorced parents. I'm a big fan of Chandler/Rachel scenes, because I felt their characters were often the furthest from each other, and seemed more like the friends you'd hang out with because your other friends hang out with them. So when they connect, it's nice. The scene ends with them hugging, and then Ross walking by and Chandler silently handing Rachel over to him. It wraps up their dynamic perfectly.

24) The One With the Routine - Season 6

"It's some sort of Dickin' Rockin' Dickie Eve." - Janine, on Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve

"No!.....year. Happy No Year!" - Joey, at fake midnight

Christmas episodes aren't as good as the Thanksgiving episodes, but this one is a lot of fun. (Also check out The One With the Holiday Armadillo, which didn't make my list, but is still a classic.)

Chandler, Rachel, and Phoebe hunt for Monica's Christmas gifts and Chandler teaches them about the true meaning of Christmas.

Monica, Ross, and Joey get to go to Dick Clark's New Year's Eve to film the dancing party scenes. Joey wants to kiss his new roommate Janine at midnight, and fights with a douchebag over her attentions. Joey fights the way a second-grader would, and ends up winning the girl.

Monica and Ross do their nerdy dance routine from middle school, and everyone is happy.

23) The One With the Birth - Season 1



"They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch.

Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much.

Now they're yelling at you, and you don't know why

And you cry and you cry and you cry." - Phoebe, on babies

"There's something sinister going on in this hospital." - Chandler, on the disappearance of Ross, Phoebe, Susan, and Joey



The birth of Ross's son, Ben, occurs in this episode. This was the first episode that completely took place outside of the coffeehouse and apartments and spent the whole story in the maternity ward. Ross and his ex-wife's lover Susan spend the episode fighting over who gets to aid in the birth and end up getting dragged into and locked in a janitor's closet with Phoebe. It is there that Phoebe gets them to stop fighting and realize that their new son is just lucky to have 3 parents who care about him deeply. She then plays in a janitor's uniform labeled "Ben" and Ross and Susan decide to name the child after Phoebe.



Joey gets pulled into helping a random woman give birth when the actual father doesn't show. It's clear that he ultimately bonds with the stranger, but when the real father finally shows, he knows he must let them be together. It's nice to see Joey mature.



Chandler and Monica are ultimately what make this episode for me. This episode gives the first hint at a possible romantic future between the two of them as Chandler consoles Monica while her biological clock starts ticking rapidly amongst all the babies around her.

22) The One With Phoebe's Wedding - Season 10



"This is...this is great." - Mike, on Joey's room



"I'll be my something blue." - Phoebe, on being cold



Everyone's story is basically wrapped up in the final episode, except for Phoebe's. She ends her story arc a few episodes early with her wedding to Mike (Paul Rudd, who just fits in so well). Unlike Monica, Chandler, and Ross, she doesn't get a big hour-long episode for her wedding, but the shortness of this episode adds to it's charm.



A blizzard causes most of Phoebe's wedding plans to be shifted, and it ultimately takes place in the snowy street, right outside Central Perk.



Phoebe, moments before she leaves Central Perk to be walked down the aisle by Chandler, is at the happiest that I've ever seen her character.



21) The One With the Proposal - Season 6

"No, you can't have my jacket because then I'd be cold." - Chandler, being romantic and stealthy

"Oh God. Maybe he won't see us. RICHARD!" - Monica, avoiding Richard

"And also, a little like a French guy. I never noticed that before." - Joey, on Chandler's appearance

"Ross is a good father, but... Joey has a boat." - Phoebe, weighing her options

Before Chandler, Monica's biggest relationship was with an older man named Richard. And just as Chandler is about to propose, Richard comes back. And when Chandler tries to throw Monica off the track of marriage so that he can surprise her, Richard swoops in to declare his love to a hurt Monica.

And that ending, when Chandler tries to fix things and just propose and Joey tells him she's left him... Joey is certainly a talented actor.

20) The One Where Ross Got High - Season 6

"No I don't want to play video games, Joey!" - Ross, being smooth

Jack Geller: "Okay, I have dandruff. There is no need to laugh and point."
Monica: "Dad, Chandler was just laughing at your joke."
Jack: "My joke wasn't funny."

"What is with everybody? It's Thanksgiving, not Truth Day!" - Ross, wanting to keep secrets

"It tastes like feet!" - Ross, on Rachel's dessert

"That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds." - Judy Geller, on the best scene in the episode

Thanksgiving episodes are this series' coup de grace. They're always episodes that revolve around the main 6 celebrating the holiday together. This one adds Monica and Ross's parents into the merriment.

The first main plotline involves Rachel botching the Thanksgiving dessert and everyone pretending to like it so she doesn't feel bad (resulting in the second best scene in the episode that ends with Ross's above line).

The second plotline is about Chandler trying to make Monica's parents like him and the revelation that they hate him for smoking pot in Ross's room in college. Except it was Ross that did it, not Chandler. This quick fast-paced scene where Monica and Ross reveal each other's terrible secrets to their parents, and Phoebe, Joey, and Rachel use this opportunity to yell about their grievances, ending with Judy's above line.

This episode is why we like David Schwimmer.



19) The One On the Morning After - Season 3

"I can promise not to tell her again." - Isaac, on keeping a secret (I quote this so often.)

"I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to?" - Gunther, on telling Rachel the secret

"Where did he put it?" - Phoebe, trying to understand what Ross and Rachel are fighting about

"Wax the door shut. We're never leaving, ever." - Chandler, on making sure he's safe from Rachel's wrath

"Well I should think so. You slept with someone." - Rachel, on her right to have the last slice of pizza

"Maybe she killed him." - Joey, on the silence

In the previous episode, Ross and Rachel get in a fight due to Ross's jealousy of her spending too much time with her new job, and they "take a break" (which then becomes the series' catchphrase). Ross spends the night with a random girl, and after discovering that Rachel wants to get back together, he makes sure she doesn't find out about his one-night-stand.


Of course she finds out (via Gunther, the "7th Friend" with a huge crush on Rachel), and she and Ross spend the whole episode ending their relationship while the other four friends are trapped in Monica's bedroom and are forced to listen. This is probably the most important Ross/Rachel episode in the series, as it is entirely focused on their dramatic circumstance, with only a few scenes inside Monica's bedroom for comic relief.

I believe everyone is legally required to cry at the end of the episode. The actors did, and could only do two takes of the final scene because of it.

18) The Last One - Season 10



"Oh yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!" - Chandler, upon learning he's going to have twins



"Rachel? I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you...I love you." - Gunther's swan song



"Jack Bing, Morning Gazette. I'm gonna blow this story wide open." - Phoebe, on Chandler and Monica's son



"I don't want to get over her. I wanna be with her. I'm going to go after her." - Ross, cheesy sitcom drama



"That is PRECIOUS!" - Ross, on baby noises



"It's good, because now you have a reason to come visit." - Joey, pulling heartstrings



"Unless we're on a break...Don't make jokes now." - Ross, managing to use the catchphrase one last time



"Sure. Where?" - Chandler, on where the group should get their last coffee together



If one were to only watch The Prom Video, The Morning After, and this episode, they'd get the entire story necessary for the show. It's a perfect way to end the series.



17) The One With the Flashback - Season 3

"Excuse me, I seemed to have dropped my ball." - Chandler, hitting on Rachel

"I'm Chandler's new roommate." - Mr. Heckles, doing what he does best

"You are one of my favorite people and the most beautiful woman I know in real life." - Chandler, to Monica

"Stupid balls are in the way." - Ross, on pool table love (Ball puns are fun)

"Ross, you're right! I don't know why I always thought this was real grass!" - Phoebe, on pool table fabric

I like this episode a lot because it seems to answer the question of "What would happen if Friends started a year earlier?" A lot of shows have flashback episodes, but usually they show life in the distant past, or when they were part of a different environment (like as children, or in a previous job or something). This one just went with the pilot episode and subtracted a year.

This is also a good time to discuss how well this show treats continuity. The characters' backstories always match up, even in flashback episodes. Sure, it may seem like Chandler and Rachel meet "for the first time" 3 times throughout the series, but it's all keeping in character. I meant more like how time is presented. If something happens in 1988, it forever stays part of the character. Or like say, how Chandler's kitchen table is the same one he had for the first two episodes of the show before it was switched with the foosball table. I just wish we got to see Kip (Chandler's old roommate) at some point during the series. He's often mentioned, he even got to be the title of one episode, and this would have been a great time to show him.

Anyway, the "plot" is that in the present, the 6 friends are asked by Janice if any of them got close to having sex in the past. So we are presented with the following almosts:

Chandler + Rachel: Definitely the weirdest and most unlikely combination. Rachel happens to be at the bar (which will later become the coffeehouse) celebrating her engagement. When she loudly says that she'd like to have one more fling before married life, Chandler overhears her and tries unsuccessfully to pick her up. Neither of them recognize each other from the few times they met in college (4 or 5 years ago). After this, it seems as if they've forgotten about each other, although at the end, we see that Rachel does wish she had followed through with the fling.

Joey + Monica: As was referenced in an earlier episode, Monica had a crush on Joey when he moved in. Here we see that unfold, and watch as Joey takes things too far too fast and ruins any chance he has of being with Monica. (However, Joey and Monica were originally supposed to be the main couple on the show, which comes up in a later episode where it is revealed that Monica was supposed to spend the epic night in London with Joey, not Chandler, which would have changed everything.)

Chandler + Monica: Hard to tell if this counts as an almost, since neither one seems to be expecting sex. Monica is depressed that Phoebe has secretly moved out of the apartment, and feels she's a terrible person to live with. Chandler tells her she's his favorite person and they hug for a long time. Bear in mind, Monica has just exited the shower and is only wearing a towel, making this a pretty intense hug. This episode came before the possibility of a Chandler/Monica plotline ever came about, so it's nice to see why the two belong together before the writers even realized it.

Ross + Phoebe: This is probably the best of all the almosts. It comes out of nowhere, and goes the furthest. Ross learns that his wife is a lesbian, and Phoebe consoles him by kissing him. They awkwardly attempt to have sex on the pool table in the bar, then get interrupted. I'm sad that they never revisited this relationship again, but it does make this one moment very special.

A final note, Heckles (the creepy, pathologically-lying downstairs neighbor) reappears for the last time (he died in Season 2), yet for some reason gets his comeuppance (even though this is the past and he hasn't made the Friends' lives miserable yet. Maybe this is the reason he's so bitter. Whatever the case, Heckles is the reason for Joey's inclusion in the group. Take that as you will.

16) The One With a Chick. And a Duck. - Season 3

"You know, you don't wear enough of this." - Ross, helping Rachel put on makeup

"Of course I am." - Ross, on accompanying Rachel to the hospital

"What did you do?" - Chandler, seeing Ross banished in the hallway with the duck

Hey, it's the first appearance of Joey and Chandler's pets, the chick and the duck.

But this episode made the list for the Ross/Rachel plotline alone. This takes place after many awkward episodes following Ross and Rachel's huge break-up where they are still uncomfortable to be in the same room together. But when Rachel gets injured, Ross is the only one around to take care of her, which he chooses to do over his previous commitment of appearing on the Discovery Channel. This was the first episode since the breakup that gave us hope that Ross and Rachel will be alright.


15) The One With Phoebe's Birthday Dinner - Season 9



"That woman has the nose of a bloodhound...and the breasts of a Greek goddess." - Phoebe, on Monica



"The truth is I soiled myself during some turbulence." - Chandler, on why he needs to shower



"Oh my God, you know what. I think you're right. Wait, listen, listen. A pigeon, no wait, an EAGLE flew in, landed on the stove and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid. The eagle, however, misconstures this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talon! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around a whirlpool that fills the apartment!" - Ross, on overreacting



"I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew." - Chandler, on dinner



There must have been some sort of decline in quality during seasons 8 and 9, because this is the only one from that era that makes the list. I guess Rachel and Ross having baby Emma slowed things down.



Phoebe mentions that they haven't been together "just the 6 of them" in quite some time. Maybe that's why I like this episode.



There's a point in which Joey kisses Phoebe which doesn't seem to have been scripted based on her reaction to it. Joey may be a dumb character, but when you see deleted scenes and bloopers, you can tell Matt LeBlanc is a great improviser.



14) The One With the Blackout - Season 1

"Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium." - Chandler's thoughts after realizing he's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre

"Gum would be perfection." - Chandler, on gum

"No, I meant tonight, in the building, suddenly, into our lives." - Ross, on where Paulo came from

"Ross, this probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica." - Joey, seeing Ross get his heart broken

This was the first episode that used the "bottle episode" dynamic, where the characters spend a majority of the episode in a single location. This allows for more character development to occur.

After a blackout caused in the previous Mad About You episode, Chandler finds himself trapped in an ATM vestibule at the back with a Victoria's Secret model. His story is basically one long inner monologue which is great, since Chandler usually has the best lines anyway.

The other five friends spend the blackout in Monica's apartment and Ross makes his first move in the Ross-Rachel story arc that will last for 10 seasons. Joey tells him he must avoid the friend zone by making a romantic gesture that night, but in doing so, Ross gets attacked by a neighbor's cat. The cat happens to belong to the sexiest Italian alive (Paulo) who woos Rachel instantly, securing Ross's place in the friend zone.

Mr. Heckles makes his first appearance in this episode.

13) The One With the Cake - Season 10



"Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis so we could put it on the bunny....That is a weird sentence." - Ross, on sentences



"Hi Emma, it's the year 2020. Are you still enjoying your nap?" - Chandler's message to 18-year-old Emma



I think this may be the final bottle episode of the series. It mostly takes place in Joey and Rachel's apartment as everyone celebrates Emma's birthday.



For his present, Joey does a dramatic reading of "Love You Forever," the world's most heartwrenching picture book.



No one wants to be at the birthday of a one-year-old, and when Rachel and Ross leave to exchange the phallic cake they accidentally ordered for the party, there is big competition for who has to stay and watch Emma.



But in the end, everyone comes back, and Emma's birthday is special and satisfying.



12) The One With the Football - Season 3

"Great, now the score is 7 to almost 7." - Chandler, on Rachel's catching skills

"Is everybody else seeing a troll doll nailed to a 2 by 4?" - Chandler describes the "Geller Cup"

"Guys, guys, come on! It's Thanksgiving. It's not important who wins or loses. The important thing is the Dutch girl picked me! Me! Not you! Holland loves Chandler! Thank you, Amsterdam! Goodnight!" - Chandler, on winning

The gang plays football in the park on Thanksgiving. Ross and Monica compete over a childhood trophy. Joey and Chandler compete over a Dutch woman who watches the game. Phoebe has fun. Rachel goes long. Thanksgiving episodes are always great.


11) The One With All the Cheesecakes - Season 7


"Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva." - Rachel, after describing the cheesecake


"So apparently, we just don't pay for food anymore." - Chandler, on returning from lunch out with Rachel


"Stop saying, 'Blood,' to strangers." - Ross, on wedding etiquette


"Please clean my beakers." - David, saying goodbye to Phoebe


"Alright, what are we having?" - Joey, producing a fork for some hallway floor pie


Chandler/Rachel storylines are so sparse, so I really enjoy them when they happen to come along. They bond in sharing and stealing cheesecakes from their downstairs neighbor.


This is also a really good Joey/Phoebe episode. We learn alot about their friendship dynamic (it was always clear they were each other's best friend of the opposite sex). And in the world of character and story arcs, Phoebe is always a little out of the loop. Ross/Rachel have one, Chandler/Monica have one, and Joey usually gets sucked into one or the other, but Phoebe's major storylines never involve the other characters. Her big relationships and her babies show that Phoebe has her own life to live, and her friends are just there for support. So when Joey gets upset that Phoebe ditches him for David (the most important relationship Phoebe ever had before Mike), it's understandable from both angles.


On a side note, Lisa Kudrow and Matt LeBlanc pitched the idea to the writers that Joey and Phoebe have been having casual sex throughout the show. If that were true, it'd probably occur after they have these dinner dates.


10) The One With All the Thanksgivings - Season 5


"More turkey, Mr. Chandler." - The houseboy, from when Chandler was a child


"Remember when Ross tried to say, 'Butternut Squash' and it came out, 'Squatternut Bosh'?" - Joey, telling Ross's embarassing Thanksgiving story


"Okay!" - Young Monica, getting inspiration from Chandler to be a chef


"I just don't wanna be stuck here all night with your fat sister." - Young Chandler, setting the course of history


"You are so great. I love you." - Chandler, amused by Monica's apology


"Nothing! I just said, 'You're so great,' and then I just stopped talking!" - Chandler, repeating what he said


Flashbacks are fun. We get to go back to the eras of "TOW the Flashback" and "TOW the Prom Video" as well as a few more, seeing Chandler as a child, Phoebe's past lives, and the year after the Prom Video era.


Is there anything cuter than Young Monica's crush on Young Chandler? Or the fact that Young Rachel looks like Kathy Griffin? Or Young Ross trying to act like a man, and getting called out by Young Monica? Jim Henson's Friends Babies is a fun show.



9) The One Where the Stripper Cries - Season 10



"Man, we're going to rock that Asian Student Union." - Young Chandler, on rocking



"Paper! Snow! A ghost!" - Joey, on white things found in the refrigerator



"Maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship." - Young Chandler, hitting on Young Rachel



"I'm in college and I'm in a band." - Young Chandler, winning Young Rachel



"You were my first kiss with Rachel?!" - Ross, to Monica



"You were my first kiss EVER?!" - Monica, to Ross



Final flashback episode of the series. There's always room for one more big revelation, namely Chandler and Rachel hooking up and...Ross and Monica hooking up. It's a shame Joey and Phoebe never got flashbacks to when they were teenagers. This would've been a good episode to do it in too, where there was a big college party. They could've both attended without realizing their future friends were there. Oh well.



And Joey's line read of "Paper! Snow! A ghost!" gets me every time.


8) The One On the Last Night - Season 6


"Hurry! Monica's gonna make you pack! She's got jobs for everyone. Now, it's too late for me, but save yourselves!" - Phoebe, on helping


"I gotta go make a fake Ben." - Ross, on the reason he's barely in this episode


"Okay, the big game: Italy vs....China, apparently." - Chandler, on the foosball game


"I'm not going to miss you helping me out with money. The only thing I'm going to miss is you." - Joey, to Chandler


Bottle episode!


It's the end of an era. Chandler is moving in with Monica, and this is the last night Joey and Chandler are roommates and Monica and Rachel are roommates. Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe spend the night packing Rachel's things, and after a big fight, finally realize that they'll miss being roommates. Chandler and Joey have a calmer final night where Chandler tries to give Joey money to help him survive being on his own, and the only way to do it is by gambling in a fictional card game called Cups.


And Ross avoids packing by spending the night with his "son."


7) The One With Monica's Thunder - Season 7


"Playin' a little Playstation, huh? That's wack. Playstation is wack. 'Sup with the wack Playstation, 'sup?" - Joey, on Playstation


"I'm sorry. Apparently, I've opened the door to the past." - Monica, on Ross and Rachel


Phoebe: "I don't think Monica's going to take this away."

Joey: "Wouldn't she?"

Phoebe: "Would she?"

Joey: "Would she?"

Phoebe: "Would she. Would she. It's starting to sound like 'wood cheese.'"

Joey: "Man, I could go for some wood cheese right now."


"Come on, Ross! Let's go have sex!" - Rachel, stealing Monica's thunder


Another bottle episode!


Right after Monica and Chandler get engaged, everyone prepares to celebrate. Rachel, however, decides to rekindle her flame with Ross, resulting in Monica's thunder getting stolen. The two fight and drag Ross and Chandler around, both expecting to have sex that night, and neither of them winning.


Rachel and Ross pretending to have sex is pretty amusing, considering is Ross not playing along at all.


6) The One With the Triplets - Season 5


"And also, I love Fonzie." - Phoebe's new doctor, finishing his introduction


"To be fair, he doesn't seem to be impersonating Fonzie..." - Ross, on Phoebe's concern about her new doctor


"That would be 'kidney stoOones.'" - Chandler, on Joey's diagnosis


"Just to clarify, I'm not Fonzie." - Phoebe's new doctor


"Can I tell you a secret? I want to keep one." - Phoebe, on the triplets


"Chandler's a girl!" - Frank Jr., on his new baby girl


It's the 100th episode of Friends. That means we get a funny story involving Joey's kidney stones and Chandler and Monica officially deciding to become an exclusive couple. But the main story is Phoebe giving birth to her brother Frank Jr.'s children. Normally Ross/Rachel stories are where all the drama lies, but Phoebe saying goodbye to the babies that she has carried for 9 months is one of the saddest moments in the series.


And when the one baby happens to reach its hand out just as Phoebe asks for a high five....it doesn't get more heartbreaking than that.


5) The One With Ross's Wedding - Season 4


"Why am I always pregnant when she does that?" - Phoebe, on not being able to chase Rachel


"Alright, forget it. Congratulations, Ross and Emily." - Chandler, finishing his toast


"I love you guys, but not as much as I love America. Can we please go home now?" - Joey, finishing his toast


"If you're planning on doing that during the entire flight, please tell me now so that I can take a sedative...or perhaps slip you one." - Hugh Laurie, on having to sit next to Rachel on the plane


"Rachel coming. Do...something." - Joey's plan on saving the wedding


"I just needed to tell you...Congratulations." - Rachel, on why she's at the wedding


"I'm walking down the aisle...still walking...I'm about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night...Hey....I just told her, 'Hey'...And now I'm at the front with Ross...It's Phoebe!...He looks pretty mad." - Joey, on the phone with Phoebe


"I, Ross...take thee Rachel." - Ross, getting married to Emily


Important episode plotwise. In London, Ross is about to get married to Emily. Rachel shows up to try to stop it since she still loves Ross, but ultimately decides not to. During the vows, Ross says "Rachel" instead of "Emily." And Chandler and Monica hook up for the first time.


The cast actually went to London to tape this episode, except for Lisa Kudrow, who was pregnant at the time. But that lead to my favorite Joey moment that I wrote above, so it worked out in the end.


4) The One Where Ross Can't Flirt - Season 5


"Oh, I can't watch. It's too scary." - Rachel, on crawling behind the couch


"If it makes you feel any better, I happen to like 8-year-old boys." - Ross's flirting attempt #1


"If we keep talking this way, aren't we going to freak her out soon?" - Chandler, on keeping a happy face for Joey's grandmother


"Hey, you know that smell gas has?" - Ross's flirting attempt #2


I think my entire list is basically all of the bottle episodes. They're just so much fun to watch.
In this one, the gang and Joey's Italian grandmother spend the episode watching Law and Order for Joey big scene which gets cut from the show. So Joey qucikly tapes his own scene before the episode is over. Meanwhile, Ross fails at flirting with a pizza delivery girl, and Rachel selflessly helps him get the girl.


And Chandler always has good one-liners, but he really shines, capping every absurd moment in the episode.


3) The One Where No One's Ready - Season 3


"Hey Ross, want some cider?" - Joey, trying to get Ross to drink a glass of fat


"Glass of fat?" - Joey, trying to get Ross to drink a glass of fat

"Ho ho, he'll be back....Ho ho, there's nobody in the room." - Chandler, on revenge

"You know, Donald Duck never wore pants. But when he's getting out of the shower, he always puts a towel around his waist. I mean, what is that about?" - Chandler, on Donald Duck

"Look at me! I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?" - Joey's revenge

"Wait, let me get you another glass. That one's been sitting out." - Phoebe, on the glass of fat Ross has to drink

How do you win my heart? Have an episode that's shot in real time. The quintessential bottle episode, where there is only one set and 23 min. Everything relies on dialogue to work. And boy does it come through.

Ross tries to get everyone ready for a classy event where he is giving a speech, and he must leave in 23 min. Phoebe is the only one dressed, but gets a huge stain on her dress. Monica frets over a message left by her ex Richard and wastes time trying to sort it out. Chandler and Joey fight over who gets to sit in the comfy chair, and start a petty fight that blows out of proportion. Rachel doesn't know what to wear, and then refuses to go when Ross yells at her.

All of this centers around a glass of fat in Monica's fridge. In order to prove his apology, Ross must drink the fat to make Rachel come. Originally, the script called for Ross to have a huge apologetic speech. But since that took too long, the writers decided to bring back the glass of fat Joey drinks at the beginning of the episode. Ah, full circle.

2) The One With the Embryos - Season 4

"Nope, no, not for like another two weeks." - Joey, on when Monica and Rachel need "feminine hygeine"

"No, no, no, I wanna play." - Ross, on hosting the trivia challenge

"Eww! No! Her ear!" - Ross, on the correct location Monica once got a pencil stuck

"Oh, I would never bet this apartment. It's too nice." - Chandler, on his new apartment

"I lost our mattresses." - Monica, on her attempt to win back the apartment

Phoebe finds out she's pregnant with her brother's children (through artificial insemination) after having a lovely conversation with them when they are just embryos in a petri dish (which is mirrored in the episode when she gives birth to them).

But the best part is that Monica, Rachel, Chandler, and Joey compete in a trivia competetion as to who knows more about who, the boys or the girls. Ross plays as the host, and the prize for the girls is that the pet birds must leave, while the boys' prize is that the apartments get to be switched.

And since this is a fun show, the boys and girls end up switching apartments.

And every trivia question is great.

1) The One With the Prom Video - Season 2

"You're my lobster." - Ross, to Rachel

"Oh, I'm gonna KICK Chip's ass!" - Monica's prom date

The only good part of this episode occurs at the very end entirely within the prom video. But the video is so great, it makes up for the rest of the episode. This was the first flashback epsiode (with Fat Monica, Big-Nosed Rachel, and Jewfro Ross), and we finally get to see what makes the Ross/Rachel storyline so great.

Rachel has been upset with Ross for the few episodes in Season 2, and keeps telling him they'll never be together. Then they watch the old home movie of Ross preparing to step in as Rachel's prom date when her date bails on her. Unfortunately for Young Ross, Chip finally arrives and takes Rachel away just as he gets suited up in his tux. Fortunately for Current Ross, Rachel finds this act to be completely redeeming of Ross's actions and rewards his endless love for her with a kiss.

This is every romantic guy's dream. To have the girl of your dreams realize that you have selflessly fought for her as long as you've known her.

And the reveal of Young Ross's appearance gets the biggest laugh out of any joke in the entire series.

They've Got Baloney In Their Slacks

Top 15 Animaniacs Episodes







































Ah, Animaniacs. I loved waiting for this show to come on after school. Of course, I hadn't learned to tell time yet, so I usually just turned on the television and prayed that the next show was Animaniacs. It was usually Taz-Mania, and I was let down.


It was made in the post "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" era when Steven Spielberg decided that cartoons should a) be more like Looney Tunes and b) be self aware. So we first got Tiny Toons which was about young 'toons learning to become like their predecessors. Then we got this spin-off of sorts which was awesome and "educational." The main characters were Yakko, Wakko, and Dot, who were old black and white cartoon characters from the 1920s deemed to "zany" for the modern audience. So they were locked away, until they escaped in the 1990s, still behaving like rambunctous children.

The cartoons were fun for kids to watch, but also riddled with references and jokes that only adults would bet. HERE'S A FUN EXPERIMENT: Rewatch an episode that you remember from your childhood in which Yakko says "Good night everybody!" after some unfunny line. You'll find that the preceeding line is now ten times funnier than you remember it. This is called, "getting adult humor past the censors."

Now, picking the best episodes were kind of hard, seeing as how each episode was broken up into multiple cartoons, so I'll just pick 15 cartoons and the episodes they happen to correspond with.

15) "King Yakko"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uU5it18wMAk Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6QbdHut2arE Part 2

"Get the camera out of my mouth."

That's all I have to say about that one. It's the first full length episode. Watch. Enjoy.

14) "Hercule Yakko" from Episode 25 (October 19, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7QHYgjmV7E

"No, no, no. 'Fingerprints.'"

It was always fun seeing the other characters (Hip Hippos, Minerva Mink, Slappy, Chicken Boo, Pinky and the Brain) in roles other than their usual cartoons.

13) "White Gloves" from Episode 39 (November 11, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ro3MBvdZiU

Sometimes you don't need dialogue to tell a good story. Just let the animation speak for itself.

I'm pretty sure those creepy gloves gave me nightmares as a child.

12) "The Warners 65th Anniversary Special"

"Silly, bizarre, loony, mad, and kooky!"

Sorry there's no video for this one. It was the season finale of the first season, and created this extensive backstory for the characters of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Apparently they got their big break by appearing in "Buddy" cartoons. Buddy was actually one of the first Looney Tunes, but this was back when cartoon characters all acted like Mickey Mouse and just had things happen to them rather than have personalities. So, when the Warners were introduced, they created cartoon violence by hitting Buddy on the head with a mallet. At the "live" anniversary special, Buddy plans to get his revenge, but in the end, the Warners thank him greatly for giving them their big break. It's weird to see this originally simple cartoon character turned into a villain. Imagine an evil Mickey Mouse...or just watch that most recent South Park episode that has an evil Mickey Mouse.

11) "Dot - The Macademia Nut" from Episode 92 (September 13, 1997)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjOePNFRFRU

"Donde que vas a Nintendo Macademia"

This came during the last season of the show, when I was still young and desperate for new Animaniacs episodes. There were very few towards the end, but this episode proved that they still had their fun parody skills. Ah, the '90s.

10) "The Tiger Prince" from Episode 74 (September 9, 1995)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSPFWzHniTY

"They mix it up!"

Obvious Disney parody with an obivious joke. But you still have fun watching it.

9) "I'm Mad" from Episode 69 (November 12, 1994)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6aaLBmUSbI

"My nose is snotty, need to move my body, gotta use the potty. Better stop the car."

Animaniacs was very good at songs.

8) "Les Boutons et le Ballon" from Episode 56 (February 16, 1994)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KK7T1t2uDk

"Parce que c'est plus facile comme fait travailler."

Mindy and Buttons cartoons were fun. Buttons saves Mindy yet the parents never know and always punish him for some trivial act. Buttons is the most selfless cartoon character around.

In this episode, they are French.

Baby Plucky from Tiny Toons makes an appearance with his elevator gag. Oh crossovers.

7) "Katie Ka-Boo" from Episode 35 (November 5, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSXBjqH2QQc

"I'm not overreacting! I'm dating a chicken!"

Chicken Boo cartoons were always the same. Boo would masquerade as some legend in his field (world's greatest dancer/cowboy/lover) and after it is revealed he is actually a chicken, everyone will get mad and run him out of town, despite his great accomplishments. I picked this one as my favorite because Boo behaves like a chicken more in this one than he does in others (although another good one is "The Big Kiss" where is disguise is only a moustache). It's never explained how he rises to fame in the first place. He just happens to be a very good human.

This cartoon came from the "mix-up" episode where characters were thrown into various situations together (like Mindy and the Brain were paired up). So the whole episode is fun to watch.

This was Katie Kaboom's first appearance, and it seems as if she was created as another one-joke character to play off of Chicken Boo's repetitive cartoon narratives.

6) "Yes, Always" from Episode 52 (February 11, 1994)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hliTwpIGeA

"You can't emphasize 'beef.' That's like wanting me to emphasize 'In' before 'July!'"

Here's one the no child would have understood/found funny. It's basically just a huge inside joke referring to an unruly Orson Welles recording session for a frozen peas advertisement where he said most of the dialogue the Brain said throughout this episode. Since Brain's voice is a Welles impression, the crew just made this cartoon for the fun of it.

5) "The Monkey Song" from Episode 1 (September 13, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7izMvoFuDM

"Now I'm in the stew...oh poo."

The first episode was a good chance to introduce all of the characters. This cartoon was seen before any Goodfeathers, Slappy the Squirrel, Pinky and the Brain, Mindy and Buttons cartoon, yet we get a good look at all of the characters' personalities.

Richard Stone did all of the music for Animaniacs and other Spielberg cartoons, and he was a musical genius. Apart from the theme song, this was our introduction to his work, and it makes for a very fun number.

4) "Slappy Goes Walnuts" from Episode 3 (September 15, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2jWRcCZBXc

"Don't tell him. He might crack."

Slappy the Squirrel was supposed to be a retired Looney Tune who everyone forgot about, and so aged. (In the Warner Bros. cartoon universe, toons only age if they aren't remembered, hence why Bugs Bunny always stays the same age.) So, in Slappy's debut cartoon, we see what a cartoon life is like through the perspective of one who knows all the classic routines. She's also always constantly aware that she's in a cartoon, so she knows exactly how everything will play out.

The xylopohne gag is especially brilliant. For the uneducated, there was a recurring motif in old Looney Tunes cartoons where some villian would rig explosives to a piano/xylophone and try to trick the hero (usually Bugs Bunny) into playing ...I don't know the name of the tune, but it's always the same one. The last two notes are the triggers for the explosives, but Bugs would deliberately hit the wrong notes. The bad guy would get irritated for Bugs' constant butchering of the song, and show Bugs the correct way to play it, blowing himself up in the process. Slappy skips straight to exploding the villain and cartoon historians smile.

3) "Wakko's Gizmo" from Episode 57 (February 17, 1994)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2jG72MEkYg

"Not yet! Not yet!"

I was mesmerized by this episode as a child. I thought it was amazing how Wakko got everything to work precisely. Then I realized it was a cartoon and was just a parody of Rube-Goldberg devices. I still think the sattelite part is pretty neat.

2) "Yakko's World" from Episode 2 (September 14, 1993)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0y8jkfXoX8

"United States, Canada, Mexico, Panama"

The only way Animaniacs was allowed to exist was that it had to meet some quota of educational value. So when they had educational cartoons, they made sure it was better than any of the straight cartoons.

I'm not sure if anyone can actually learn anything from this song after one viewing, but it's sure-as-hell memorable.

1) "Drive-Insane" from Episode 53 (February 14, 1994)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLPLD203EsA

"I can't hear myself kiss."
Apart from the great moments in the episode (including the entire snack buying scene or the look on the Warners' faces when they get into the car and lock out Scratchensniff), the reason this is my absolute favorite is for the French film alone.
As I child, I never understood why we had to sit through the boring French film along with the characters, but now I realize the glory (if you missed the joke, brush up on your French childrens songs, then look up the English translations). The emotional read of "Din Dan Don" is the apex of humor.

Something I've Been Wanting to Do for a While

With Progressive Boink(http://www.progressiveboink.com/) starting a list of best Simpsons episodes, I've decided to tell you a little bit about what I watch and why I watch it.

So I shall be doing a Top # List of my favorite shows. I say "#" because shows that last one season probably don't have as many great episodes as those that last twenty seasons. With that being the case, I will assign different numbers based on how many seasons a show has run (or if the show is currently running, I'll stop at the latest even numbered season).

I shall go in increments of 5 for every two seasons a show has been on the air. So, if a show lasts one or two seasons, I'll recount my Top 5 Favorites.
3 - 4 seasons - Top 10
5 - 6 seasons - Top 15

7 - 8 seasons - Top 20, etc.

I will also make sure I've either a) seen every episode of the series I'm discussing or b) seen every episode of the seasons I am covering.

So, let's kick things off with one of my favorite shows as a child:

The Top 5 Episodes of Eerie, Indiana

- When I was young, I loved books and shows about "weird" things. Goosebumps was my passion. Then, one Saturday morning, I discovered a show that devoted itself to "weirdness." Eerie, Indiana was about the adventures of a 13-year-old boy named Marshall Teller whose family just moved to "the most normal city in America." However, Eerie is actually "the center of weirdness for the entire planet" and nobody in the town seems to notice. The inhabitants are either oblivious to it or just as weird themselves. Marshall meets a young kid named Simon who is the only other person who realizes that this city is weird. The two of them set out to document their encounters in the city so that they may one day uncover the truth about the city or leave behind a record incase their investigations ever kill them.

- This show could have easily been another kids show about monsters or ghosts, but the show took it's concept of weirdness to a new level. It was actually intended as a comedy for adults shown in primetime, but it didn't last there. Fortunately for me, Fox Kids decided to show it on Saturday mornings. The first episode was about housewives who threw tupperware parties and actually slept in giant tupperware containers to preserve their youth. This show didn't mess around when it said it was about weird things.

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5) The Loyal Order of the Corn

- Women had tupperware parties, while men had the Loyal Order of the Moose. These aren't really relevant any more, but watch old Laurel and Hardy movies or Flintstones episodes and you'll see references to organizations for men who wanted to get away from their wives. Marshall's dad joins the Loyal Order of the Corn (a parody of these organizations) and as Marshall knew, if it's happening in Eerie, it has to be weird. While snooping around, Marshall bumps into the weird gray haired kid.

- Wait, let me back up. You should know that, even though the show only lasted one season, it broke down into two halves: Pre-Gray-Haired-Kid and Gray-Haired-Kid.

That's right, it was Jason Marsden, also known as "That guy from the '90s." He popped up everywhere. His role in Eerie, Indiana was that of a kid with amnesia, who also thought that the city of Eerie was weird, but he was too self-involved to care. He was more interested in exploiting the oblivousness of the inhabitants for money. Ever since he was introduced, he appeared in every remaining episode. His past was a complete mystery to everyone.

- Back to this episode. The Gray-Haired-Kid, who has decided to give himself the name "Dash X," works as a waiter at the Corn Lodge. It is eventually discovered that the bartender of the lodge (played by the original "My Favorite Martian" Bill Bixby) is actually a Martian (Bixby is typecast, I guess). He is using the lodge as way to get back to his home via...giant television screen...okay, I don't really remember the plot exactly, but I do remember that Simon somehow ends up on Pluto (where it snows). But the plot wasn't as important as the point when Dash-X asks Bixby if he was his father and that he too was a Martian. The Martian does not give him a definite answer, and Dash is devestated. We finally get a chance to learn about this mysterious character, and we are crushed along with him.

- He then shows up in other episodes and continues to be a selfish dick.

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4) Heart on a Chain

- This episode is about love and death. This episode breaks away from the weirdness, slightly, because love and death are weird enough as it is. Marshall and his friend Devon fall for a new girl Melanie at school. She has a heart condition and does not have long to live, so the two boys try to woo her as fast as possible. They each get her gifts. Marshall gives her a giant heart that has spring loaded snakes (not a good idea to give someone who can die when startled) and Devon gives her a heart on a chain necklace, with the note "My heart is yours." For anyone who's had to compete with a friend for a girl's affections, this moment breaks your heart. Afterward, Devon gets hit by a milk truck (this becomes important in a later episode) and dies. His heart is transplanted into Melanie's body. Awww.

- Let's break from the emotional plotline to discuss Marshall's family. He has a mom, a dad, and an older sister. And they are so normal it is hilarious. They spend the entire episode going "Awww" whenever Marshall references Melanie. When Marshall takes her up to his attic to show her his collection of weirdness, his family bursts in on their romantic moment to document it on film. The best part is when Marshall's mother leans in to Marshall and whispers "We like her" when Melanie is clearly within earshot.

- Back to the plot. With Devon's heart now in her body, Melanie starts behaving more like him and whenever she tries to kiss Marshall, she gets a mild heart attack. The show implies that Devon's heart is controlling her, but it eventually becomes a metaphor for not being able to let someone go after they have passed on.

- Eventually, Melanie does let Devon go, and is finally able to kiss Marshall. But she must leave him to figure her life out. Marshall accepts this, then returns to his little friend Simon, who had been feeling neglected this episode (for he is too young to understand the appeal of girls). The smile on Simon's face after Marshall asks if he wants to look for UFO's is priceless.

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Editor's note: This was the only episode I didn't see as a child, but rather when I was older. So I just watched it again to make sure it was as good as I remembered it and I noticed something subtle that happens right at the end that makes this episode ten times more tragic. It made my heart jump. SPOLIER OF THE BIG FINAL MOMENT: I used to think the ending, when Marshall says "we weren't alone in the cemetery that day," referred to Devon's spirit and "that was the last I'd ever see her" meant Melanie eventually moved away and the single tear that the angel statue cried meant Devon was upset that he eventually lost the girl as well. BUT, upon rewatching, I saw that as Marshall walks away, in the background we see the Grim Reaper advancing on Melanie. It's very hard to see if you aren't looking for it. So this leads me to think that Devon (who was still in charge of Melanie's heart) actually killed her, and the single tear was to imply he had to do it so that the two could be together in the afterlife.

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3) The Losers

- Eerie, Indiana introduced a lot of unique stories, but this one proposed an idea that I still like to believe is true in everyday life. Marshall's father loses his briefcase which not only held important documents for his job, but was also a gift from his wife. With his father's job and marriage at stake, Marshall sets out to find the briefcase. If you watch the scene where the briefcase is lost, you'll notice that it is set down in the background, then mysteriously disappears, like some sleight-of-hand card trick.

- Marshall eventually discovers that there is an area underneath Eerie where all lost items go. There are two people responsible for this: one who goes out in the world and brings items down underground, and one who keeps records of everything lost. Marshall accuses the two of stealing, but they insist that their job is essential to the growth of society. Without lost items, people would not be motivated to get new ones. The economy would collapse. Realizing it is all about bureaucracy, Marshall makes a mess of all of the files and escapes, but not without taking the big rubber "LOST" stamp. The bureaucratic loser eventually tries to track Marshall down and exchange the briefcase for the stamp, since he has now learned the feeling of losing an item that is precious to him. They make the exchange, but then see that Marshall's parents have reconciled with a new briefcase, so the loser takes the "lost" briefcase back.

- So now I don't feel as bad when I lose something. I just know it is filed away somewhere underground.

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2) The ATM With a Heart of Gold

- This episode borderlines on unnecessarily creepy very often, but the message is worth sitting through the horror that is the ATM.

- The ATM is a new model, invented by Marshall's father, that features a screen on top with a floating human face wearing a bowtie. The head talks and greets people using the ATM. The idea behind it was to create a more pleasant atmosphere in one's bank going experiences. Although the head is fixed with a creepy smile and monotone voice, there is no reason to think it will do anything harmful. However, the new machine is not met with horror, but rather with disinterest. People use the ATM, but since it is a machine, no one bothers to respond to it's cries of "Hello! Have a pleasant day!" No one until little Simon happens upon it.

- Simon's background is never seen but it is clear that he comes from an emotionally unstable and low-income household, so he clings to Marshall as an older brother figure. So when Marshall starts getting tired of Simon, he has no choice but to seek comfort somewhere else. When the ATM greets him as he walks by, Simon is the first human to respond back. When asked to enter his pin code., Simon doesn't understand and just types his name on the number pad. The ATM dispenses some money and tells him to have a good day. The friendship is born.

- Simon starts spending more time with the ATM, gathering money, and the ATM starts developing a personality and bonds with Simon. It is eventually made clear that the ATM is stealing from other people's accounts to please Simon.

- Eventually, Simon comes to terms with the fact that he must return the money, and in doing so, the ATM returns to it's original state of no personality. It is a very sad scene to watch. Especially afterwards, when the ATM stops working altogether, and it is implied that it killed itself.

- This show is bleak, man.

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1) The Lost Hour

- In farming areas, such as Indiana, Daylight's Savings Time is not observed. Marshall hates living in Eerie, and tries to retain his ties with the rest of the world by setting his watch back one hour.

- He then wakes up the next day in "the previous hour."

- Everything remains as it was an hour ago, except no one else is around (for they are moving along time normally). This new Eerie is not completely empty. Marshall meets a girl who went missing last year at Daylight's Savings Time who also set her watch back. However, she never really caught onto the reason everyone disappeared. She just thought everyone abandoned her. There are also "trashmen" on the hunt for her (and now Marshall) since they don't belong in this hour. There is also a kindly old milkman (who I like to think is the same one who killed Devon with his truck). The milkman helps Marshall by telling him that at the end of the hour, he must set his watch forward again to return home, lest he stay trapped for a year. The girl eventually obeys, but Marshall realizes he left his watch back in his own time. The milkman shows him a window to the "present hour" in his truck. The window puts Marshall's face on the milk carton under "Missing." Through this, Marshall can communicate with Simon, and in a race against time, Simon manages to help Marshall return home.

- Simple story, but the reason this places so high on the list is because of the milkman. The milkman is actually a future Marshall, who has commited himself to living in the lost hour to retain balance in Eerie. If the show had lasted longer than one season, I'm sure we would have learned more about Marshall and his connection to the city. But alas, it was cut short. It was revived later with a different cast, but I'll discuss that at a later time.

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- Try to find episodes of this show and watch it. It's corny and cheesy, but it'll blow your mind.